Contrary to what some analysts said last night on the news shows I think quite a bit was revealed in the Cohen Hearings yesterday. Here are a few of my takeaways:
1) God – or the devil – is in the details: This column stresses the importance of learning and confirming the details at the bottom of any conflict. (Go AOC! – She is winning me over). God – or some say the devil – depending on your perspective I guess – is in the details. It is only by unearthing detailed information and confirming it that you can see the truly destructive effects of someone’s behavior. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/28/opinion/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-cohen-hearing.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage
2) Intermittent Reinforcement: Cohen believes Trump would never physically hit his wife Melania. I respect and appreciate Cohen’s judgment on this matter and he may be right – but a hallmark of physically abusive relationships – (that is where one party is coercively controlling the other) is that they are often the last people we believe would control through violence. It is generally accepted that there are four types of abuse: emotional or verbal abuse, financial or economic abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse. There is a widely viewed tape from Inauguration Day showing Trump emotionally abusing Melania, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeZRvRr72IA and we know that Trump has a withering tongue, (which often stops people in their tracks so then he thinks he has outsmarted them,) that he has an explosive temper and that he projects his anger onto others fiercely, vindictively and with an utter disregard for anything but his own need to control. Also, it was widely reported that Trump hit his son very hard – in some reports knocking him to the ground – https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/miami-dj-says-he-watched-donald-trump-brutally-slap-his-son-in-college-8900500 All these behaviors are highly correlated with abusers – physical abusers. But probably most importantly is his ability at moments to be kind and funny – these are the juxtapositions that Cohen pointed out – and need to be recognized and understood. I believe this is an example of affect dysregulation and the intermittent reinforcement which results. Intermittent reinforcement has been shown, empirically, to be a powerful, perhaps the most influential, means for controlling and altering someone’s behavior.
3) “Junkyard Dogs:” Abusers, autocrats, megalomaniacs and the like are surrounded by junkyards dogs – those who win arguments by destroying you because they have no other defense. Theirs is the devil’s work and the term has now become interchangeable with the GOP.
4) Speaking in code: Cohen said Trump speaks in code. This is very symptomatic of abusers – the implicit threat is you do this or else – and children of abusers learn very young that they better figure out this code if they want to lessen the perpetrator’s abuse – they are constantly trying to figure out “the code.”
