A Reminder to Love
we are all on the path and striving, one step forward, one back, in the process of our spiritual evolution. I have been pushed to the edge of my capacity for compassion, and sometimes over it, and continually need to check myself and restrain my potentially destructive impulses so I can breathe, think and choose how to react in the most skillful way. I often need my friends to reflect back love and compassion to remind me to stay on the path. I am glad we have each other!
I was at a psychotherapy conference this weekend (the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium in Washington D.C. where I was invited to present on harm reduction-it went very well!) and I had this experience.
A Muslim African-American therapist told a powerful, moving and riveting story about her conflict about working with a bigotted, racist, hate-filled white man. She consulted with her Imam for guidance who told her to work with him since he had come to her for help and he felt she was called to do this work. Reluctantly she committed to working with him. In the course of the therapeutic exploration, she recognized that behind the hate and racism was a reservoir of pain related to a traumatic assault on him and his beloved. She was able to empathize with, offer compassion and “a little bit of love” to this deeply wounded suffering man. This helped create a safe space for him to reconnect with and process his pain. His hatred and bigotry dissolved and he re-connected with his loving self.
After she told the story, I approached her and told her how moved I was by her courage. compassion and dedication to the work. I told her I was not sure I could do what she did. She said, “when that man walks into your office, love him…you can”. She inspired me to try to be more open and loving in the face of hatred. We need each other to stay on this path of compassionate pragmatism. The world needs it.
The Center for Optimal Living
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